Mr Scruff

Cannot believe the Blonde, trotted off to some boot camp or something and left me with the Grandparents - AKA The Boys mum n ‘ dad. They live in Streatham – hello Mr Rottweiler, Hello Mr Staffordshire Bull Terrier, lovely weather. They are proper geezers down there, I was a bit scared and I iz RESCUE! Anyway, Blonde was chatting on about her age and her ass and that Moo Moo person again and something to do with not fitting into any of her clothes.

The grandparents don’t have a computer so I couldn’t update my blog, which annoyed me. And they wouldn’t let me go out on my own to the internet caff – something to do with them Staffies. The Boy’s dad is a vicar and so I ran around that church like a mad dog – I loved it. Smelly old thing that church with shiny wooden floors. The GP’s had a bible class the other night round at their house and I got soooo over excited at the door bell ringing, the cake, the patts and kisses and fussing that I was sent to bed. Actually, I heard the GP’s say ‘let’s pretend it’s bed time and turn the lights out so he calms down’. Calm down???! Ain’t being funny, but there is cake and cuddles involved here and I want some!

Anyway, Blonde came to pick me up six days later muttering something about losing seven pounds. Annoying that I bet, losing seven pounds, I know my dog food costs at least a tenner, not to mention the treats. Hope she finds it, I like them organic crispy snacks she gets.


Now I draw the line at dog outfits. I am not walking around west London in a camouflage hooded parka. I am not. I will be set upon by poodles and laughed at by toy breeds. No way. Blonde took me to have my nails clipped, I did not like that let me tell you, although I did get a ton of snacks for being good. Anyway, this new parlour sells dog clothes. It’s so wrong. I practically scaled the bleedin walls when Blonde tried to get that parka on me… Noooooo way. I do like my new lead though, apparently it’s hand made, Blonde said it looked just like Ermes or summit. If it’s good enough for that Ermes bloke, it’s good enough for me.


Woof x