Mademoiselle

The entire ELLE features desk are trying out non surgical boob jobs. I am more than a little perturbed. One is rubbing ’fat sucking’ oil onto her chest in the disabled loo every lunchtime, another has been injected with gunk from a five inch needle to give her a cleavage to rival Pammy, whilst another is trialing the latest cleavage enhancing bras. It’s tit-tastic over at ELLE towers.

Thank god I could escape for the launch of the new Tommy Hilfiger Internet TV channel called Tommy TV (www.tommytv.com). The main man himself was over from New York and waxed lyrical about his love of the British rock music scene, The Stones and Bruce Springsteen’s jeans. Cute Parisian duo ‘One Two’ played a song which must have been weird for them considering it was to a sober crowd at noon. They still rocked out. I caught up with them outside where I tried to be witty and clever in French, I almost pretended I smoked I was so keen to impress the indie hotties.

Next I was invited to have lunch with the Chairman of Marks and Spencer, Stuart Rose. Basically the man is the God of the high street and loved by kids and grannies alike. He asked me what he should change about M&S, I got an attack of tourettes and asked why Percy Pigs contain pork gelatin and were there plans to stop using it? He looked genuinely surprised as he turned to his PR person who replied that Percy has his own Facebook page and has 30,000 friends! G-E-N-I-U-S! I went Facebooking immediately and found 72 Percy Pigs! All of them claiming to be the original Percy, some with pictures of the sweet wrapper, some had photos of the actual sweets. Wonder if any of Percy Pig’s Pals have a Facebook page? I requested to be friends with the most genuine looking Percy. I’ll update you when I hear back from him.

Anyway, you heard it here first, next autumn/winter M&S is looking hot and very on trend, I wanted almost everything, especially the oversized patent handbag, the grey wool cardigan and the black PVC jacket with faux fur collar. Interestingly, everything that Twiggy wears in the campaign sells out in store… I reckon this next collection will be loved by the 20-something too, and her mummy of course.