Mademoiselle

Went to see Radiohead last night. Would you believe that they don’t allow backstage drinking whilst the band are on, therefore guaranteeing that yours truly would actually watch the band instead of sharing style and hair tips with Bat For Lashes aided by my old pal Jacobs Creek?!

Humph. Anyway, ended up in Shoreditch House (again), where I met Phone Jacker - or as I renamed him, Captain Caveman (do vaguely remember doing the Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaveman for 5 seconds beyond being funny anymore).

En route home at three am, I got a call from some friends who were at The Hospital, the private members club, still sort of medicinal though. Somehow we ended up in one of the recording studios with Supergrass, drinking tea and munching on HobNobs at four am. Weird.

Am off to Glastonbury tomorrow with Mulberry. I’ve got a date with the designer Henry Holland at Paddington tomorrow lunchtime, we’re taking the train together. Need to get home early tonight to work out festival attire. No wellies for Mademoiselle, I’m thinking Westwood Pirate boots and stripy t-shirts and a denim mini, talk about ship wreck fashion….

Yesterday I went to work in a playsuit. I am a grown woman, so obviously it was a black one, but a playsuit nonetheless. The playsuit was a dream on the scooter, no awkward hitching up of skirt, and I had total freedom of movement. I never wear trousers so bear with me as this was a new sensation. I wore it with black ballet pumps (I’m a flat convert) and a little sequined jacket in silver, so was essentially working this seasons playsuit with next seasons sequins - a fashion feat.


As a treat, my friend offered to buy me a bottle of pink champagne in the new and very chic champagne bar in the handbag department of Selfridges. There is nothing more enjoyable than cocktail hour in that bar watching women agonising over whether to buy a Balenciaga handbag (I spied one in electric blue and am holding out for the sale). She’s my new super chic lawyer friend I met at fat camp - so we avoided the little fish and chips they were serving even though the smell was divine. Instead, we concentrated on watching a lucky girl being treated to two Chanel handbags. Life is so unfair.


Once the champagne was drained and we had said goodnight, I made a dash to the loo and remembered that I had taken 10 minutes longer to use the loo throughout the day due to aforementioned playsuit!!! Omg omg omg - I could NOT get the damn thing off and was in fear of an accident! The playsuit resulted in me being half naked in the disabled loo. Not the best look.


I will not be wearing that playsuit again.

Uniqlo took took over the top deck of the National Theatre yesterday to preview the new a/w 2008 collection. I loved the skinny cords which come in all the colours of the rainbow, they are officially on my fashion scroll.<br/><br/>
Then we popped over to Matches in Marylebone where circus acts, champagne and fashionista’s had taken over the store - there wasn’t a single designer dress in site. Instead the store had become a blank and open space for a night of performing art.<br/><br/>
Next we hobbled (why did I wear the YSL Tribute on such a busy night??) off to Dover Street Market where Chanel had created a punky Brittania-inspired pop up store to celebrate the Paris Londres collection. I was just about to congratulate Karl when I noticed ‘he’ was in fact a cardboard cut out. Snapped a pic of us both on my camera phone anyway it/he looked so real. Trinny and her friend who I didn’t recognize looked more like a cardboard cut out than Karl did. It’s time to eat some carbs Trinny or you could be mistaken for a man with a handbag….<br/><br/>
It was taxi time at 8pm and off to The Serpentine Gallery where Bulgari were hosting a party in true Italian style - WITH FOOD! Grazie mille!! How I have survived this many years on long finger food alone is beyond me. Pea and mint risotto was served in small stone bowls, molto chic!! I spied a new culinary trend too - champagne being served in white wine glasses. More champagne - brava!!!I walked home 5 miles in my Tributes to work off the cheese plate.<br/><br/>
I’m off to the Swarovski Rocks catwalk show tonight.

Yesterday I was knee high in accessories for our accessories supplement that is banded with our September issue. I cannot tell you how packed our fashion cupboard is - I think we lost two interns in there yesterday.
Today it’s the Uniqlo autumn/winter 08 preview, it’s all the way down at the Southbank - plus there’s the supplement to finish… Plus, tonight somehow I’ve got to pack in three events between the hours of 6pm to 11pm! There’s the Chanel “Pop up” shop at Dover Street Market, a Matches store event in Marylebone and a Bulgari event at the Serpentine - now that’s a wardrobe dilemma if ever I heard one. I’ll stick to black – and flats. Am into longer length skirts and dresses at the moment - I will look like a witch on the scooter!

Today I met with Jane Shepherdson, ex brand director of Top Shop and now the CEO of Whistles, to see her very first collection for the label since she started a few months back. The super stylish blonde has banished the bohemia of old Whistles and has replaced it with every girls fashion wish list. Mademoiselle put almost everything on her fashion scroll - I loved it! I spied a vintage inspired blouse that I must have (it’s cream and will consider dying my hair brown in order to wear it), cute tea dresses (the right side of cute), trousers with a modern cut – high on the waist and therefore great with a white shirt… Oh and the coats, the coats! I loved the almost Balenciaga Paddington Bear coat with oversized hood. Quite school uniform actually and quite moi.

Jane so seems to get what women want and she wants us to look modern and cool and feminine and a bit less girly it would seem. I’m so up for being ‘Janed’ this winter.

This birthday I gifted (according to U.S press office’s that I receive press releases from, that is a new verb) myself a new ass for my birthday last week. Happy new-ass-day to me. Actually it was more of a nightmare than a gift.
I went on a bikini bootcamp in Scotland where I kid you not, I ate nothing (unless you count seeds, a bit of porridge and some lettuce leaves as eating). I was forced to run around from 5.30am, thankfully not actually in a bikini – that would have been both cruel and ugly.

I did this bootcamp thing last November and wrote about it in the March issue of ELLE, so I did know what was coming quite frankly. Basically four ex army dudes get you up at puke o’ clock (5.30am), run you around a circuit for an hour, feed you 100 calories of porridge (7.00am) made with water, then run you up and down mountains (until ‘lunch’ – the smallest piece of tofu I’ve even seen and a sprig of spinach), through woods, rivers and streams until dinner (a smaller piece of tofu with a tiny sprig of something, perhaps even grass from the lawn) with the aim of dropping a whole dress size in six days. It works; let me tell you, but it breaks you (I cried five times – but got very hysterical on day three over the size of the portion of soup). Don’t even get me started on the ketosis – Google this, otherwise I will tell you something medically untrue, but it basically means fat burning. The side effect of this hideousness is a strong metallic taste in the mouth. VILE DOT COM.

Obviously the pain of this ordeal is now almost forgotten, as I imagine mothers forget the pain of childbirth, given that most of them go on to having more then one child. I can once again fit into my Topshop tea dress that I bought last summer, however in the recent winter months, and even with the help of good old M&S suck it all in body shaper tights, I couldn’t do the zip up so it had to be worn with a baggy jumper over the top. Nice.

I’ve also made some new non-fashion friends! Like Claire the clever lawyer and Laurence the fabulous producer and Amanda the yummy mummy who is giving up her hot-shot career to move to Spain for a year. Put the four of us together and it was a bootcamp version of Sex In The City… except the outfits weren’t quite as good and there were no cocktails.

I saw the new season H&M collection this week, it’s the collection that’s going to hit the stores in August / September and like Liam Gallagher, I’m mad for it. The shapes were mini-Marni-me. I’ve added the Peg leg trousers, the vintage inspired chinoiserie top and the grey duster coat that the PR minx was wearing to my AW08 must-have-it-now shopping list. Actually it’s more of a scroll, it’s longer than an Andrex roll and it’s only May by the way.

I popped into the Karen Millen press day too. I’ve never worn the label before but, actually I quite like the new bits. I want the black mac (he thinks he’s Burberry), and the oversized faux croc, purple bag (he thinks he’s Dolce but he’s not as expensive). There was tailoring worthy of being on the 1st floor of Harvey Nics and the embroidered layered skirt was fabulous enough to make Christopher Kane go insane in the membrane. I’ll definitely be visiting the store come August. In fact I will be camping outside in my new Chanel tent. Alright, made that up, but they should make them….. Dear Karl…

Yesterday I had breakfast with Samantha Cameron (David’s wife). She is the epitome of English style and grace – what a beauty. She was wearing a snug fitting dress by Prada and carried the Smythson ‘IT’ bag the Nancy bag. I really really want one. In fact I want to be her. She drives a scooter like me, oh we are so similar. Not. Sob.

Today I had a breakfast meeting with the PR from D&G Dolce Gabbana at Cecconi’s, I like it there because I can park my Vespa in the garage opposite for only five quid. Meeting ended at 11am and I was happily scootering up Park Lane when quelle horreur I hit some water on the road and fell off my bike onto my head. I lay amongst 4 lanes of traffic feeling very dazed and confused (picture Courtney Love on a bender) whilst the traffic continued to drive around me. Harrumph, nice, what ever happened to the helpful London cabbie? Thank goodness two American old lady tourists came to my rescue as did a lovely tramp who just happened to be sleeping rough in Marble Arch. Mr Tramp wheeled my now broken Vespa across the road whilst the American Grannies escorted my battered limbs and me to the safety of the pavement. The grannies called an ambulance and I was rushed to St Mary’s hospital to have a head scan. As I thought, they found nothing in my head, not even a brain but they did find an old pair of Laboutin’s, I wondered where they had gone. There was no damage to my Giles for New Look dress and no, George Clooney does not work in a hospital in Paddington, but I did check almost all the wards just in case.

I left you on Monday feeling hysterically tired due to having a total fashion meltdown at the weekend which resulted in no sleep on Sunday evening – not a wink. Not only did I have not a stitch to wear in this weird winter into summer transitional weather, but I’ve also realised that I have had ideas above my financial station for a few years now. Actually since I was born.

I have decided to face this credit crunch nonsense head on and so have been trudging around the high street stores (in the rain) to find the hottest credit crunch fashion available in store today. I’ve surprised even myself at the bounty I have uncovered. What I love about the items, apart from the price, is that they are not direct copies of pieces found on the catwalk – I really don’t do “Get The Look” fashion, I’d rather just “HAVE” the real look and not go out for the rest of the year. Actually I can’t even do that anymore due to being maxed out to the max.

I need a totally new working wardrobe, it needs to be functional yet fashion forward. First stop Uniqlo, pick up some super, super skinny high waisted jeans in black denim (1) (they come purple, green and blue wash denim too) and they are only £19.99, I will be wearing these with the very Todd Lynn-esque cropped, boxy white cotton jacket from NEXT (2) – totally gorgeous and only £35! I’m loving these heels from Red Herring at Debenhams (3) (£28) – a bit Marni but a better colour which will go with denim and black and smart enough for work. These shoe boots from Top Shop (4), (£40) in pale grey are the perfect colour for transitional fashion – you can still wear them with tights or you could go bare legged and wear them with these peg leg trousers from GAP.

I so wanna be the GAP girl this season, she’s effortlessly cool with a real ‘look’ going on.

This is a ‘workie’ shirt (5) even the ‘workie’ could afford, (£35), and I’m smitten with this shirtdress (£45) (6), both are from Monsoon and are a teeny bit Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Secretary. Check out their cute silver pumps (7) (£25) – there’s a hint of Lanvin going on there. Ooooh la la. I plan to wear this monochromatic dress (8) from H&M (29.99), with a longer line cardi or an oversized mannish tailored jacket in either grey or black – try Top Shop or Warehouse for one, I got mine from Stella a few seasons ago and I wear it all the time.

Speaking of Stella - I love this little Spring coat (9) from Ted Baker (£140) and this casual rain mac (10) from Warehouse (£45) too.

Back to NEXT, what a dark horse you are! Look at this slouchy silk dress (11), I will be wearing it with a long sleeved black top from GAP underneath it and a vintage biker jacket and heels and this bag (12) will be perfect for work, looks designer but is only £30. I am jumping up and down in the manner of Veronica Salt right now!!!!

Anyway, back to the designers, I have discovered a new website which offers discounted designer shopping on-line check out www.brandalley.co.uk, just in case I still need a designer fix over the weekend – 20% off Chloe? Oh go on then…I hear it’s raining on Sunday and Monday so I have an excuse for some prolonged online shopping. Thank crunchie it’s Friday – this is so exhausting dot com.

I’ve spent the entire weekend fretting about what to wear in this vile winter-to-spring transition period. In fact, I have not slept.

Woke up on Saturday morning and decided it was time to pack away the winter woolly’s and say hello Spring! After a failed attempt to rid my wardrobe of all things passé – think smocks, bell shaped jackets, dark denim and biker boots - I made a list of essentials that I need to replace them. Spring is all about a skinnier silhouette; I need black skinny tailored trousers, lean fitting black dresses, bright flashes of colour, the occasional floral or stripe, but am faced with a wardrobe full of metallics and boho! Consider packing away my woolly tights. A frightening thought as I have become absolutely DEPENDANT on the tummy and leg shapers from Marks and Spencers. And where does that leave ankle boots? Should I break out the lighter summer dresses with cardigans and tights? I had to lie down for the rest of the day I was so exhausted.

To add to my insomnia, I’ve been lusting after bags that cost the same as my mortgage? Everything seems to have become so expensive?? (Including my mortgage by the way.) Why can’t I have the new Chanel box bag in red patent? And the new Tom Ford sunglasses I saw in Harvey Nics the other day? The new Chloe collection just hit the shop floor…. gag gag gag…

The seasonal meltdown started on Friday afternoon when I popped into Dover Street market and was almost seduced by a pair of Lanvin ballet pumps with an oversized bow on the front. They were £300, they were gold and they had my name on them. Sadly, due to my recent mortgage hike there was no way I could justify the purchase. Life is so unfair.

I decide to take some money-saving action and spent Sunday productively trying to get better deals on life’s so called essentials. I searched and searched for cheaper car, bike, home and handbag insurance you name it – I’m insured. Even my Bottega sunnies are insured should I sit on them (Think I might do that after seeing the new Tom Ford collection). I noticed on one document that my entire freezer contents were insured so I had a quick peek in there and found a lonely bottle of vodka and half a pitta bread. Great, saved myself 12 quid. After an entire day of trawling through money saving websites I was more confused dot com than ever before.

This week I am going high street shopping to find some spring time wardrobe solutions – I’ll update you on Friday with my credit crunch finds.

GAP turned all French girl cool last night in Covent Garden, where they showcased their next Autumn/Winter 2008 collection to the press. It was sort of John Lewis ‘back to school’ meets Lanvin. Team ELLE loved it. I need one of the short black-boxy-boy coats and a pair of the cute pointy mod flats ASAP.

Being a football widow several times a week I decided to take action. Women need hobbies too you know. The Boy plays five a side footie twice a week (Monday’s and Thursdays), watches Soccer am on a Saturday morning (10am) which conveniently blends into the pre-match build up on Sky (noon), he then goes to watch the match at the Fulham ground (3pm). When he finally gets home via the pub (6pm), he re-watches the match he’s just seen live at the ground on Sky Plus (7pm), just in case he has missed anything that the pundits talk about. He then watches match of the day (10pm). How annoying.

So what should a football widow do? Netball, knitting, salsa, golf? Most activities involve some sort strenuous physical activity and I don’t do strenuous, unless it’s power shopping. Anyway, I’m more of a darts tart than a croquet chick so a month ago I hit upon the idea of a women’s darts night - onnnnnnnnneeeee hundred and eeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiggghhttttttyyyyy……!!!!!!!!!!!

I walked into my local boozer at 8.30pm last night and it looked like a scene from Shameless. My Facebook invite said that a designer prize (a pair of Celine sunglasses) would be given to the DAG of the night (think WAG with darts, more bling and belly). It was totally hilarious, it’s amazing what the thought of a designer prize can do to women. One friend strapped on a beer belly and wore a bikini over the top of it.

Our darts tarts, who were in teams of two, had the most inspired team names; The Royal College of Darts, Love will tear us a dart, Murder on the darts board…. Brilliant. Something fabulous happens when you mix alcohol, darts and 40 women dressed up as tarts in a pub on a Thursday night – and I’ve got the bruises to prove it. I thought I was going to get chained up to the lamppost with severall yards of Elizabeth Duke gold chains when I won the entire tournament! Obviously I gave up MY first prize win which was a Mulberry Poppy bag in mustard (begrudgingly – I.E it was ripped from my arms by 40 screaming darts tarts). I raffled it off instead and I raised £500 for a charity animal rescue home! Ahhhh, absolutely barking and a good night was had by all.